If Ever I Would Leave You
by LylyWeasley
Summary: Dean goes back to get Castiel and promises never to leave him again. The song at the end is "If ever I would leave you" from the musical Camelot. Rated M/M for explicit sexual content


Dean hung up the phone and left the bunker before Sam could notice he was leaving. Zeke had made it clear that he could not be around Cas, but that wasn't going to stop Dean from going. There was something in Cas' voice that worried him. That and he missed him. That was the biggest thing. If he'd never hat to kick Cas out, Dean's emotions and loyalties wouldn't be in such a twist. He would have felt better if Cas were just down the hall, sleeping safely in the bunker.

He got into the Impala and started driving. He'd made sure that Cas set his life up somewhere that wasn't too far away. He'd given him his leather jacket for the cold and told him to call if he needed anything...

_ "Dean, I can't," Cas said, trying to hand the coat and fifty dollar bill back to Dean, "You don't have to..."_

_ "Yes, I do," Dean interjected, "It's my fault that you're going to be out there. The least I can do is make sure you're taken care of."_

_ Cas looked at him with his big blue eyes, "I still don't understand."_

_ Dean's heart was breaking, "I wish I could explain. Just know, that no one wants you here more than I do." He took the coat from Cas and slid it onto him. He had to admit to himself that Cas really pulled the leather off._

_ Cas tucked the money into one of the pockets and zipped it up, "Thank you, Dean."_

_ Unable to hold back, he wrapped his arms around the fallen angel. Slowly, he felt Cas lift his arms and reciprocate the hug, "Stay safe, buddy," Dean whispered into Cas' hair. Cas nodded, gripping Dean tighter._

_ "You too," Cas whispered back. Dean patted him on the back and got into the Impala. The last thing he saw as he drove away was Cas raising his hand to wave._

That had been weeks ago. Dean's stomach still felt hollow when he thought about it. He wished he'd been stronger, that he hadn't given into Zeke's blackmail. But, realistically, there hadn't been a choice. He couldn't let Sam die. He'd worked too hard to save him. He just wished the price hadn't been Cas.

He pulled into the gas station that Cas had given him the address to. Wondering what in the hell was going on, he made his way into the _Gas 'N' Sip_. Everything inside seemed normal. Where was Cas? He went up to the counter so that he could get a better handle on the situation.

"Hey, I'm looking for someone," Dean said absentmindedly, "he's about-" he held his hand up to show height and looked at the cashier. He stopped. Behind the counter, hair combed, scruff shaved, and wearing a blue vest: was Cas.

"Hello, Dean," Cas said, smiling. He walked out from behind the counter, arms outstretched towards Dean.

He ran to Cas, throwing his arms around him, "Hey, Cas," he breathed in relief. Pulling away, he looked him up and down, "You look good," He ran a hand through Cas' hair, "You cut your hair."

"To look more professional," Cas said, "It's good?"

Dean nodded, smiling now too, "God, I missed you Cas."

"I've missed you too, Dean," Cas said, putting a hand on Dean's cheek. He scrutinized Dean's face closely, his thumb moving across a small cut under Dean's eye, "You've been injured." His hand dropped and his eyes looked sad.

Dean shrugged, "No big. Side effect of the job." But he knew why Cas was upset. Not so long ago, Cas would've been able to heal even Dean's most trivial of wounds. Seeing Dean with just the smallest scratch must hurt him. "So," he said, trying to change the subject and looking around, "You work here?"

"I'm a sales associate," Cas said flatly, "Sometimes I'm very good at my job. And sometimes..." he trailed off, gesturing to a blue stain on the shirt under his vest.

Dean stifled a laugh, "And what's that from?"

Frowning, Cas said, "While we were on the phone, I had a mishap with the slushy machine."

"I distracted you that much, huh?" Dean asked, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

"Cas averted his eyes and blushed, "And if you did?"

This took Dean by surprise. He wasn't sure how to respond to it. Of course, he and Cas had an unbreakable bond that sometimes extended past the line of friendship but... He'd never thought of Cas like- like that. Well, maybe he had but it had always been quickly tossed aside because of their circumstance: imminent danger or something of that sort. And now that Zeke was keeping Cas as far away as possible, the chances of being with him were slim to none. Of course, he wanted Cas. He even admitted to needing him. But it was impossible.

"So..." Dean said finally, changing the subject again, "What was the danger you called me out here for?"

Cas' eyes met his and there was fear reflected in them, "There have been strange deaths. I happened to catch a glimpse of one of the crime scenes... An angel did it."

"An angel is killing people?" Dean asked. Cas nodded. "Have they come to find you?" Cas shrugged. "Ok," Dean said, "we're getting you outta here. Now." He put an arm around Cas' shoulders and began to pull him towards the door, but Cas wouldn't budge.

"Dean," Cas said, "I can't just pick up and leave. I have a job. Responsibilities that I have to tend to. We can't leave."

This sudden independence made Dean irrationally angry, "Well, I'm not leaving without you. I'll be damned- again- if I'm the reason you're left in danger or kick the bucket. Don't you care about how I feel?" Dean exclaimed.

Cas looked confusedly at him, "Of course I care about your feelings, Dean."

"Then," Dean continued, "It would make me _feel_ better if I could take you somewhere far away and safe."

They stood there, locked in a silent battle of wills for what felt like forever. Humanity obviously came with an all new level of stubbornness for Cas. Dean was glad that he was thinking for himself but, why did Cas have to disagree with _him,_ of all people?

Finally, Cas sighed, "How about this: You can stay with me and keep an eye out. And I won't lose my job then."

Dean pursed his lips, "Fine," he growled, "But if you die, I swear I will bring you back just to kick your ass myself."

Cas cracked a smile, "Promise?"

Dean did not smile back, "Promise."

"I get off at six," Cas said, "You can loiter in the store or in the Impala."

"I'll go get us some grub then wait in the car," he said. Before he walked out, he noticed something that made him stop, "Why does your name-tag say 'Steve'?"

Cas gave him another dazzling smile, accompanied by a chuckle, "I was wondering when you were going to notice. That's my name here. Less conspicuous."

Dean shrugged, "I prefer Cas."

He walked out to the parking lot and got into his baby. He wanted to take Cas somewhere safe. He wanted to go somewhere with him and be alone. He didn't like the idea of Cas being so close to danger again. Since becoming human, the possibility of losing Cas forever had skyrocketed. Dean wasn't sure he could handle losing him. And now that Zeke couldn't be around, there was no guarantee that he could be brought back.

Dean looked at his phone. He had missed a few calls from Sam. But, he dismissed them. He didn't want Zeke knowing where Cas was. Lately, his trust for the other angel was less than strong. Dean looked at his phone again. It was three thirty now. That was enough time to get Cas and himself something to eat and still have some surveillance time. He kept watch for an hour, then set out for dinner.

Unfortunately, the town Cas was in was very confusing. It took forever to find a quick burger joint and find his way back to the _Gas 'N' Sip_. It was two minutes to six when he arrived. He had wanted to be back earlier, but it didn't seem as though anything had happened in his absence. He could see Cas cleaning up through the window. He looked out at Dean and held up a finger, signaling that he'd be a minute. Dean nodded at him. Sometimes, he couldn't get over how adorable Cas could be.

Thinking that now was as good a time as any, he took out his phone and called Sam.

"Dean?" he answered after one ring.

"Yeah, Sammy, it's me," he said.

"Where the hell are you?" Sam snapped.

"I had some errands to run," Dean lied, "And I won't be back for a bit. I'm sorry, but it's urgent."

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, sounding hurt.

"I was pretty spur of the moment. I'm sorry Sam," he said again. Outside, a man in a black trench coat was making his way into the _Gas 'N' Sip_. Something silver glinted in his right hand: an angel blade. "Sam, I have to go, sorry," Dean said hurriedly, ending the call. He grabbed his own angel blade, gun, and demon knife before getting out of the car.

The strange man was already inside and talking to Cas. As Dean made his way to the door, the man in the black coat waved his hand at Cas. The fallen angel went flying into a refrigerator full of soft drinks at the back of the store.

"Cas!" Dean shouted, running through the door.

The man turned, his face grinning triumphantly, "Sorry Winchester, but I'm taking your poor excuse of an angel."

"Think again, you son of a bitch," Dean said, smirking. He threw the angel blade over the man. Cas had snuck up behind him. Catching the blade, he thrust it into the man's back. The man screamed, eyes glowing, before falling to the ground. Dead.

Cas looked up at Dean, "He said his name was Hezekiah. The angels are still after me."

"Come on," Dean said, beckoning for Cas to follow him.

They made their way to the Impala and got in. Cas was trembling, "We have to leave, Dean."

Dean reached into a paper bag to his right and handed Cas a wrapped burger, "Here, you eat. I'll get us out of here."

Cas started eating as Dean revved the engine and sped toward the highway. He drove for over eight hours, trying to make Cas more at ease. He wanted the angels to have trouble finding them. Finally, around two thirty in the morning, they pulled into the parking lot of a hotel. They got a room and Dean brought along a few weapons for security.

When they were in their room, Cas sat down on his bed and Dean noticed something. A dark red stain was blooming through both Cas' shirt and his blue vest.

"Cas," Dean said, "You're hurt," he put down the bags he was holding and knelt down in front of Cas, "Let me see."

Cas crossed his arms over his chest protectively, "Dean, I'm fine. You don't need to-"

"Dammit Cas, let me see," Dean persisted. He pulled one of the bags towards him and grabbed some bandages. Cas uncrossed his arms but made no other move. Dean removed his vest and his slushy and blood stained shirt. Over Cas' ribs, just above his Enochian tattoo, there was a large gash. He must have gotten it when he got thrown across the store. Luckily, it wasn't deep.

After Dean had cleaned and taped the would, Cas looked sadly at him, "I'm a burden."

Dean put a hand on Cas' bare shoulder, "No. Why would you say that?"

Cas shrugged Dean's hand away, "All I do is get hurt or killed and slow you down. I used to be able to heal you, to serve a purpose. And that's why you made me leave. Because I'm useless. And now you'll leave me again..." tears were welling in his eyes.

"No!" Dean exclaimed, "No Cas, don't ever think that. Angel or not, I want you with me. The bunker... it's not safe for you."

"Wha-" Cas began.

"I can't explain," Dean said, "Just know that I did what I thought was best. And I was wrong," he put a hand on Cas' cheek, "I'm not leaving you. No matter what."

They looked into each other's eyes for a moment or two. Slowly, Dean got off his knees, hand still on Cas' face. Cas stood up too, leaning his cheek into Dean's palm.

"Promise?" he asked.

"Promise," Dean said, "I need you, Cas."

And then, Dean pulled Cas to him and put his lips to Cas'. There was no reason for it, other than it was the only way Dean could think of to convince Cas that he was serious. Cas wrapped his arms around Dean's neck and held him tight. Dean let his hands roam the other man's bare torso. He had wanted to do this for so long and had tried to fight t. But Cas was constant. He was always there.

Cas tugged on the hem of Dean's shirt, grazing his stomach and sides with his fingers. Dean let out a small moan, untangling himself and taking off his shirt. When he and Cas grasped one another again, it felt like sparks flew between them, their skin creating electricity all it's own.

"Dean..." Cas moaned, "Please..." He pulled him back to the bed and sat down. Dean followed, straddling Cas and his fingers through Cas' hair.

Cas took Dean's lower lip between his teeth and bit down, sucking it gently. Dean let out a noise that was halfway between a moan and a growl, "Oh Cas... Yes..." He pushed Cas down onto his back, kissing his neck and chest. He worked his way down the fallen angel's torso, skirting the bandages. He lingered around Cas' tattoo, kissing every word of Enochian.

Cas exhaled heavily, gripping Dean's shoulder, right over the handprint he had left when lifting Dean from hell. Dean kissed all the way back up Castiel's chest to his mouth. He put a hand on Cas' shoulder and gripped tight, "I wish that I could mark you as permanently as you did me." He looked at the handprint on his shoulder.

Cas chuckled, putting a hand on Dean's cheek, "Just because you can't see it, doesn't mean you haven't," he also looked at the handprint on Dean's shoulder, brushing his fingers over it gently, "I wish, sometimes, that we could go back. That I could be your angel again."

Dean smiled sweetly, "Castiel," he kissed his cheek, "Don't you understand," he kissed the other cheek then looked into Cas' eyes, "You will always be my angel." He kissed Cas softly on the lips.

This, however, wasn't enough for Cas. He opened his mouth and parted Dean's lips with his tongue. Dean sucked lightly on Cas' tongue, making him squirm beneath Dean. They kissed hungrily, mouths opening and closing frantically over one another. In a fit of desire, Dean began to undo the fly on Cas' jeans. Realizing what was happening, Cas did the same for Dean. Hopping off quickly, Dean pulled his jeans and boxers off in one swift move. Cas sat up and let out a small gasp as Dean stood, naked, in front of him.

"I swear to my father," Cas said, his voice husky with lust, "that you are the most glorious of his creations."

Dean sauntered up to Cas and knelt before him again, "Damn Cas," he whispered, gently pulling down his pants. Dean smiled widely as Cas' erection was released, "You sure do know how to flatter a guy." Cas only had enough time to take a sharp breath before Dean had leaned down and taken Cas' firm length into his mouth.

He wrapped his hand around the base of Cas' desire and bobbed up and down. Cas threaded his fingers through Dean's short hair and groaned, throwing his head back in ecstasy. "Dean..." he half whimpered, "I- I'm..." and then he did. Warm cum shot down Dean's throat and he took it all.

Dean straightened up and positioned himself between Cas' spread legs. He kissed Cas on the lips, pressing their torsos together. The tip of Dean's erection pressed into Cas' inner thigh. Cas wanted to do so many things to Dean. Things that his angelic self would've cringed at, but that he was sure would feel so right.

Cas pulled Dean onto the bed by his shoulders, "Get on your back," he said firmly.

Dean raised his eyebrows, "Mmmm... bossy. I like it." He obeyed and Cas eyed his body hungrily.

"My turn," He said, pouncing on Dean. He kissed Dean's neck, leaving light bruises in the tender skin there.

"Oh Cas," Dean gasped as Cas slid his mouth over his chest, lightly nipping and sucking as he went.

Cas planted his hips squarely on Dean's making him cry out in pleasure, "Do you want me to keep going, Dean?"

He nodded, trying to catch his breath. Cas reached for Dean's erection, wrapping a hand around him. As he began stroking evenly, Dean clutched at the sheets on the bed, closing his eyes, "Oh yes..." he moaned, "Cas, I want you. I want you so bad."

"How do you want me?" Cas asked, his voice low and seductive.

Dean managed to open his eyes. He locked gazes with Cas, "I want..." he panted, "Your mouth..."

Not needing to be told twice, Cas got off of him and quickly positioned himself over Dean's desire. He gave Dean a last, mischievous grin before taking Dean's length into his mouth. Dean let out a groan, putting his hands in Cas' hair, "Yes, oh God, yes..."

Since Dean was already so aroused, it wasn't long before he could feel his imminent orgasm, "Faster... oh, Cas, faster," he managed to say as the tightness grew in his core. When he climaxed, Cas hummed in satisfaction, the sound reverberating through Dean's body. Dean pulled Cas up to him, kissing him fiercely. When Cas rolled of him, they lay facing one another.

Dean brushed a piece of hair off of Cas' forehead, "_You_ are the most glorious of your father's creations, Cas."

Cas smiled lazily, "I love you, Dean."

"I love you too, Cas," Dean said, kissing him on the forehead.

Cas turned over and Dean wrapped his arms around his waist, planting small kisses on the back of Cas' neck, "you should get some sleep," he whispered into Cas' shoulder.

Cas squirmed, "How do I know that you won't be gone when I wake up?"

Dean squeezed him tightly, "I made a promise. Anyway, you're nice and warm. I don't think I'll be going anywhere, anytime soon."

Cas chuckled, then yawned widely, "Sing me to sleep. Please Dean?"

He racked his brains. Most of the songs Dean knew were angsty and loud. Not exactly appropriate for this situation. Then, he thought of something. There was a song his mother had sung to him when he was younger. It was perfect.

Dean rested a cheek against Cas' shoulder blade, "If ever I would leave you," he began, low and soft, "it wouldn't be in summer. Seeing you in summer, I never would go..." He continued until Cas' breathing deepened and Dean could tell he was asleep. He kissed Cas' shoulder one more time and finished singing softly, "Oh, no, not in springtime, summer, winter, or fall. No, never would I leave you... at all." He rested his face against Cas' back and sighed, "Sleep well."


End file.
